Welcome to the Mindset Coach Academy podcast. I'm Lindsey Wilson and I am a high performance mindset coach, a mom, a former professional athlete and an entrepreneur. I help coaches and high performers optimize their mindset to improve their coaching, their performance in those other athletes and their lives. Here you'll learn all about mindset, how to live it, how to teach it and how to sell it. Hi guys and welcome back to the Mindset Coach Academy podcast.
My name is Lindsey Wilson and I am in my car hiding from my children because I'm a working mom and I'm trying to get some stuff done. I want to talk about women and money today. More specifically women and money and power and this has been coming up a lot in my life but also in my work. You know I talk to many of you and I hear your stories and I hear your desires and I hear from a lot of you that are moms and trying to balance your ambition and your desires with those of your kids and I wanted to talk about it because I think money and purpose and contribution and value and all of those things are sometimes sensitive topics and I don't have, I hope this doesn't come across as preachy. I more want to just give the space to talk about it because I've seen it in my own life and it's really the core of what I want to talk about is when I talk to so many women and again I've talked to a lot of them that want to be mindset coaches and mental performance coaches and I'm hearing more and more women that want to get into this field because of their kids and I get that drive, of course I get that drive but I think that it's deeper than that and I want to give space for that because I think a lot of times women feel the need especially those that have maybe chosen to stay at home or they've chosen a career where they could be at home and they're taking on a lot of you know the kids responsibilities and school pickups and after-school activities that it's almost like they need to, I don't know if it's like excuse their personal ambition and their personal desire to make money and do something for themselves with the needs of their kids and in my mind your drive as a human being with a human brain and the need and the desire to want to create something and have purpose outside of being a parent and your drive to make money for yourself and be dependent on yourself and that confidence that comes from that the confidence from putting something out into the world and saying this is worth something and people will pay for it that is a valid desire and it could have nothing to do with your kids you know my family history is one of you know things that happen in my mom's life and my grandmother's life that where they were you know my grandmother ended up needing to take care of her family and so that sort of that kind of trickled down right of like I always want to be able to take care of myself and my kids and it's interesting I was talking to a family friend at like a family party birthday party like kind of a month ago or so and she was talking about her husband had passed away she was now married to somebody else that had a great job and we were talking about child care and we were talking about how you know it's after tax money and how it's really challenging especially with multiple kids to make your income you know your income exceed what you know child I mean I remember when we had two kids we were paying almost $3,000 a month after taxes for two kids in daycare and that was like kind of on the low end to be honest in Seattle like you can easily pay at least you know four thousand for example and if you're going with a nanny it's five or six so you know after tax money like you have to make a lot of money to sort of justify staying at home or should say not staying at home but I kind of was asking her I was like how does your sort of history influence like your decision because again her husband was making enough money where she could have just said no nanny I'm not going to make that much more than that so I'll just stay home and she was like no I'm never going to not work like I don't I don't care if I can take care of myself because she'd had that trauma and you know again it's I'm not telling anybody what to do but I just want to give the space that it's okay to just want it for you for your own feeling of safety for your own independence for your own desire to create something and have something that's just for you I think that is so valid I know for myself I love being a mom more than anything in the entire world and I really like the confidence that comes from making money I love making money I remember my mom always saying like after every paycheck she would just buy her some even when we didn't have a lot of money she would just buy her something herself something small she'd always say I was gonna get a tube of lipstick or something to just reward myself because of course most of her money was going towards child care and use some completes and all the things right and I always think about that because you know the feeling of earning money and then buying something for yourself because you want it is such a like delicious feeling I'm teaching that to my kids you know like when they make money at the lemonade stand and they get to go pick something out at the store and they get to spend their own money that is an amazing feeling it's the feeling of independence it's the feeling of contributing something to society that other people will pay for it's the feeling of yeah confidence of being able to take care of yourself and again I just wanted to do this episode because I have zero judgment on people not working I have zero judgment on people doing whatever they want in their life I just think it's important for us to bring out into the light of day that especially in America especially for women often we feel like we have to justify those desires to make money or create or have something for ourselves and a lot of times I see women trying to either put it into the bucket of what their kids want or need like they're trying to become mental performance coaches for their kids and it's like yeah but you could hire a mental performance coach for probably less money than our certification to be frank so there's a deeper desire you're here because you want something for yourself let's just call a spade a spade and here's the thing if you haven't gotten to this point on your own I'm all for that right like you don't have to explain you don't have to tell me it's for kids right like I love my children not everything's for them I mean at the end of the day setting a good example for them is really important to me but part of that also is them seeing me prioritize myself and seeing them see me decide that I want to make my own money that I want to contribute and that I have desires of my own as a human being, not just one of a mom.
And I just think that's an important conversation because money's power guys, like it is. And for me the confidence and the reassurance that and I've been dependent on my husband so there's no judgment here. I talk a big game about prioritizing myself and I have and being independent and there have been times in my life when we had young children where my husband had the 401k and I just made sure he was okay and like all the things right. And I've also had times when like I didn't prioritize myself on any level, right?
I mean there's just seasons of life. But as I'm sort of coming out of like the intense baby you know mode in our house I'm also like okay what are the things that I need? What are my desires? And one of them that is very important to me is making money.
It feels like safety to me. I remember talking to someone and they were saying they learned how to do hair cutting and hair styling because they knew like no matter what they could always make money at that. Like they always had a skill set that you know something terrible happened and they lost their day job or whatever you know that they could rely on that skill set. And I feel that way about my skill set.
Like I've learned so much in coaching and marketing and selling and like I have taken the time to develop myself so that I am an independent person that is capable of making money and I get the fulfillment from helping people and creating something of value that other people will pay for. And again I just think that that is an important desire that should be listened to. It's really important for women to feel like that's okay. You can want something just because you want it.
It's not like just because we're moms and we have other responsibilities or just because we have enough money and our basic needs are taken care of that we can't still want something just for ourselves. Because what we're really talking about is a feeling of who we are. I like me. I like me as a whole person that can take care of themselves and have power and have agency and buy things without asking anybody. I like that me. And I just think a lot of women try to apologize for that for wanting that. And I'm telling you girls women you do not have to apologize for that to me or anybody else. If you want it you want it.
And will it benefit your kids? Probably. In fact I know it will. But you don't have to do it for that.
You can do it just because you freaking want to. I also think women like the feeling of independence is power. And I was listened to Farnoush, forget her last name she's got a podcast called So Money. And I love her like feminist bent on money. She was interviewing someone at one point and they talked about like women being financially independent. And again I've been dependent on my husband. It's not like you can never be dependent. This is not a judgment thing so don't take it that way. But the ability for women to make their own money and have skills that they can make their own money and she was talking about this idea of having a fucking fund.
And I love that idea. Again that's safety for me. To have made my own money and to have an account that is like I can tell somebody to fuck off. Anybody. My husband, my boss.
Anybody. Like that might sound harsh but for me that feels like independence. That feels like safety because here's the thing guys. We don't know what's gonna happen. We don't know.
We don't know what tomorrow brings. So for me I like having a skill set that can make money. And again there were times when I was not making enough to pay for childcare. So I hear you if you're in that boat and it can feel like the worst time to prioritize yourself. But your desires matter. And if your desire is to make money it's not really about the money guys.
Right? It's not really about the money. It's about the money being security. It's about the money being power. It's the money being agency and independence and the self reliance.
That's what it's about. All of those feelings are a big huge thumbs up for me. Like that is when you think about who I am. Some of you know me better than others. Those are the kind of emotions that I really like.
And my guest is a lot of the women that I'm on the phone with that are looking into the certification and having the desire to be an entrepreneur. They're drawn to it because they like those feelings too. They do. And again they're not drawn to them because it's for their kids. They're drawn to them because they're drawn to them. And that's okay.
Money is power and it is okay to want both. Because I do. So anyway, you guys are the best.
I'm happy that you stayed with me this long to listen to this. And again I hope that you took it with the love and empathy that I have in my heart because I've been in all kinds of situations especially with kids and working moms. And you know the fact of the matter is in this country we don't help women very much with childcare and all the things. So we kind of have to advocate for ourselves. If we want to work it's not always a financial decision. Sometimes it is and that's hard too.
Right. And sometimes it makes more sense to not work. And sometimes you have to make sacrifices to work. And it all is like this big shit sandwich in a lot of ways. And so there is zero judgment on whatever decision you make for you and yours.
Zero. But this is a space for you to talk about like real stuff. And there are hard decisions to be made as a working mom. Make no mistake about it.
And financials and all the things and childcare and all the things. But one thing that I know for certain and again this is not something that I've always practiced. It is something that I am intentional about because I think it's important. But one thing that I think is really important is women deciding to prioritize themselves. And by prioritizing by prioritizing themselves what I really mean is listening to your deepest desires and recognizing that they are valid.
And you know maybe you don't act on them right away because you got a little baby at home and you know nanny's $5,000 a month. But at least validating the desires as something that is important and that you can at least listen to it even if you don't take action. So those are my thoughts about money and women and power and all the things because it is a complicated topic. It's also a very emotional topic.
So thanks for staying with me. If you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them come on over to Instagram @lindsaypositiveperform. I'm so interested in your thoughts about this episode. All right guys, talk to you soon. See you next week. Bye for now. Hey guys!
