Reality for me in the work that I get to do is I'm seeing really great people get out of the coaching profession either by choice or they're being asked to leave because of an inability to connect with and Understand and coach appropriately today's athletes. I mean, these are really well-intentioned people That simply don't know what they don't know about how to be more effective with today's athletes
Welcome to the mindset coach Academy podcast, I'm Lindsey Wilson and I am a high-performance mindset coach a mom a former professional athlete and Entrepreneur I help coaches and high performers optimize their mindset to improve their coaching their performance and those of their athletes and their lives Here you'll learn all about mindset how to live it how to teach it and how to sell it Hi guys and welcome back to mindset coach Academy podcast. We are so lucky today We have Betsy buttock here who is a communication specialist and also known as the coaches coach and we go way back So we were just chit chatting a little bit online and I was like, oh my god We have to stop because we need to record this because we are gonna get into it Betsy is absolutely the best person to talk to about any kind of communication I'm gonna be picking her brain But if you were a coach or a leader or a parent or around really anyone and if you're around humans You need to learn from Betsy. So we're gonna get right into it. Hi Betsy. How are you? Hi?
I'm doing really well Lindsey and yes, we did go way back. We were sure basketball background It's funny You said what you just said because quite literally before we hopped on for this podcast I was trying to do something I've been meaning to do for a while as an Instagram post and it was to tell folks about this book Why are we yelling the art of productive disagreement? Which I was on a flight to Seattle and right before takeoff the pilot said folks, you know Unfortunately, I need to let you know that the Wi-Fi is gonna be inoperable for this flight So it was four and a half hours that I'd really been excited about catching up on work and now that wasn't gonna happen So I went through my emotional process of disappointment and rage and then pulled this out of my backpack And I'm so grateful I got that time because it's an incredible book So when you're talking about like, you know, the best person I'm like, oh, no, there's other people I want to tell you about, you know, like new resources And that's part of what I love about the work is I get to continually learn either from conversations with people whether they're coaches or student athletes Or by reading what's out there in terms of communication and the various ways that Being a human is hard and talking with people can be challenging. So yes newest favorite resource to get people
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was why are we yelling?
Speaker 1: Why are we yelling the art of productive disagreement and the author is Buster Benson It's not a new release. I think it came out in 2017 2018, but I highly recommend Okay
Speaker 2: All right, I need to like say that in my brain many times a day with my kids. Okay So let's get into it. I know you're an expert in many things But as we were talking about earlier, you know, so many people that are listening this podcast are Mental performance coaches sports coaches. They are in that world working a lot with Gen Z, right? And I know that's like a particular interest to you.
That's what you're traveling all over the country talking to coaches First of all, this is going to be a silly question. But maybe it's not What Gen Z what ages are we looking at here?
Speaker 1: So roughly 1996 and after and then following Gen Z as Gen Alpha born roughly around 2012
Speaker 2: Okay, so help me with the math. So how old are those people now?
Speaker 1: So 96 the oldest of Gen Z is about 28 Okay, yeah, so many of them all who were coaching at the college level specifically all Gen Z Yep, okay cool.
Speaker 2: And then like maybe a little bit of high school, but some of those are going into the alpha.
Speaker 1: Yeah Yeah, so Alpha's around 12 12 to 14 is alpha. So we're talking early high school. Not yet college.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay Got it. Okay. So we're gonna focus on Gen Z. Okay. So I just worked with the college team So I know that those coaches are like Really trying to like crack the code try to figure out how to communicate with these people Like if you're coming into a college team and I know you did it all the time and I'm the coach What are the like three to five things or more that I really need to know?
Speaker 1: So we would start with me asking a question Which would be I want you to finish the phrase kids these days with whatever's been true for you Hey guys, come on And I love asking that in rooms of coaches and administrators because the answer is spam The most positive responses that heard have been from rooms where I post the people in the audience are Students training other times. These are arguably people that are very much invested in you know, best practices being intentional creating space Like reserving judgment when you get to coaches administrators, especially coaches So come on over judgment largely goes up. We know because it can be so frustrating to understand Especially if you've done what you're doing in the coaching profession for any length of time Why what used to work doesn't work in the same way? What is it about kids these days? and and oftentimes what I found in this work is that Unintentionally people let their frustrations and their judgments get in the way of their ability to connect with and then better coach The athletes that they're working with so we say they want the same thing But how to go about doing it can seem or feel mysterious or confusing um, so a lot of the work that I do starts with creating a shared understanding of how When we were an athlete whether that was eight years ago 18 years ago 28 years ago that the world was quite literally a different place and the unique identifying factor for gen Z is They have never known life without the internet So i'm
Speaker 2: born in the year 44 and in my lifetime alone the changes in technology have been incredible And I go through a very fun like recount of some of the more poignant moments We talk about things like the one film in the house with the long core and talk about Recording the mix tape and the hotline at nine coming on you talk about the only thing we use the computer lab Horns school was playing and the new organ trail All of that stuff and then to think that kids these days have never known life without the internet The world was quite literally a different place and once we have context and that's always a big barrier to communication But once we have context and a shared understanding of why The young people that we're working with today are so different because of how they've grown up with technology Then we get into tools and strategies for how we can work proactively with them To the point that now we're better equipped to teach them some of the skills that we know they need that they may currently be more deficient Yeah, that's great.
I mean Yeah, uh, first of all end of the organ trail. I just talked to my daughter It's like it's the I mean it's the best. Yes. I remember like I could not stop. Yeah. It was like my favorite part of the day Um, so that takes me back Okay, so talk a little bit about when we have that disconnect like what does that look like?
because I see it too. I mean I hear that the the negative of Kids aren't mentally tough and like more a little new a little negative but more neutral like kids are just different these days But still has kind of a negative connotation usually. Um, tell me what that's like looking like Like what are the ramifications of that? Right? Like when coaches have that? um feeling and that context of That that kids are different like what are the interactions like what are the limitations and like how is it manifesting itself?
Speaker 1: So one is attention span shorter attention spans and I would argue not just for gen z for most of us because of the ways we're constantly Inundated with bids for our attention um So talking to or at specifically Do nothing for any duration of time even the shortest two minutes Largely we're going to lose the attention of most of them at a certain point So what are some of the tools or techniques we can lean into in order to better hold attention from the outset? Increase engagement or reengage attention when we know we've lost it. So that's one way that it shows up people notice coaches notice that like kids are tuning out That's one thing another thing that's a big one is because of technology specifically social media Gen Z is disproportionately focused on obtaining peer validation So they care more than previous generations about what other people think of them And this shows up in subtle nuanced ways Sometimes it's a coach asking their team a question and they know several players on their team know the answer But nobody says anything Why it's not because they don't know it's because they're worried about what their friends are going to think about them when they speak in that space Are you coach's favorite? You know, are you kind of that brown-nose or teacher's pet?
Or what's the judgment going to be made about me? Same thing and I'm sure this tips into your area of expertise as well when we talk about performance The mistakes that athletes make it's no longer. I made a mistake in this space It's I've experienced a failure easily translates into I am a failure So that crossover that like micro moment of failure into a global judgment about me as a person and my value and worth as a human That's something that we see often Even the ability to give feedback Like okay, you're giving the feedback that is true and accurate for your sport as a coach and appropriate to this athlete So why aren't they able to receive it or why aren't they able to make the translation? One example for feedback where I see coaches miss each other something that's really important to gen z and often overlooked by other coaches is When we give feedback What's most important for gen z is is it helpful?
And if we scale this back and look more across society if we look at the social media that goes viral It's often things that immediately teach us something Like I now know seven different ways to cut a watermelon all of which are arguably better than the one way I've been doing it for most of my life When we see something that immediately teaches something we share that information Our feedback can follow the same format. So often hear a basketball example Let's say point guard turns it over two times down the floor in a row Third time down the floor turns over again. What I hear from coaches is you can't keep turning it over And the kids like yeah, no shame like this isn't great for me either, you know, give them something that's helpful So instead of naming the mistake and I hear this from athletes often when coach gives me feedback They're amplifying what I've done wrong Instead of giving me something helpful that I can do in the next moment to fix it or change it or make it better So same example with the point they're turning it over It's like okay.
Hey next time like change your body position to protect the ball pass with your outside hand So giving them something that they can take action on can we tell them the truth about a scenario and not just stop there Can we give them an action that they can choose to take? In order to improve next time Yeah
Speaker 2: And what are the limitations for the coaches like if they don't work with you and they don't know any of this Like how is that showing up in the day to day?
Speaker 1: catastrophic ways I'm seeing and this is like a More of a heart-wrenching kind of reality for me in the work that I get to do is I'm seeing Really great people Get out of the coaching profession either by choice or they're being asked to leave Because of an inability to connect with and understand and coach appropriately today's athletes I mean, these are really well-intentioned people That simply don't know what they don't know about how to be more effective with today's athletes We're seeing it show up in comments on anonymous surveys at the end of season Long after a conversation could have happened between coach and athlete If only there was the skill and ability to do so For which the coach could have taken action on something controllable So I see this come up when I say catastrophic like people are literally losing their jobs Or going through investigations and even if nothing's found their their reputation their um own Sense of worry being us or trust in themselves as a coach has been damaged So this matters. It's a big deal and I'm seeing it not only in education, but in sport as well
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean you have a you have a challenging job, right because I feel like there's a lot of You know, I think that at least the the sort of arc that I've seen is like the really like I'm gonna call them generally like Old school coaches like yeah that don't Understand emotional intelligence, which is a lot of what you're doing as well as communication Don't understand the mental side of the game, which is what I do along with the emotional side Like it's all there's a lot of overlap, right? Yep, like the old school coaches that I think I don't know if you have a group this but like many of them have phased out Yeah, but I do think that there's like still this and you and I were probably in this group of like a little bit of the like Well, it was like we all have to toughen up a little. Yeah, right like yeah, and it's not there's still a lot of love There's still a lot of support. There's still you know, but it's also like things are changing so fast with with Athletes getting paid and there's a lot of entitlement.
There's a lot of the nil stuff I mean everything's just so different and it happens so fast. I mean forget technology just the state of Sports and what athletes get and that they can leave at any time. I mean, that is a huge shift That happened just like that. I mean it was a long time coming and whether you agree with it or not That's where we're at, right?
Yes. Yes, and so those coaches let's take the ones that are like Well-meaning like you said good intention. They're not the like who cares about thoughts and feelings like get on the court run Some suicides. They're not that right, but they are like The sense of like this is new And yeah, kids are a little entitled these days like they're on their phones all the time like What do you how do you reach those coaches without sort of them feeling like they're throwing the baby out with bathwater? Because they got to their level right without all this like 100 right? And so I think it's probably pretty challenging for them to like keep their hard nose high standards and This other let's call it a little bit of a softer side. Yeah, how do they do that? How do you talk about that?
Speaker 1: well, and so you name a lot of it it's like um We are where we are and I use the example if you're about to leave your house and You go to open the door and you suddenly notice it's raining outside Most of us would turn around and grab an umbrella or a green jacket and yet that hasn't been true in well fair, right context matters you talked about context But it's like most we're in the habit of reacting and adapting to our environment If you're driving on the freeway even in Seattle if you see brake lights ahead of you, you're probably going to tap on your brakes So we're used to responding to our environment and yet I see a lack of responsiveness for some of our old school coaches And it's often grounded in some form of rigidity or some form of ego or some form of anger Like they don't say like well, this is different. They say like this is bs.
Why should I have to change? Like I know these values that are old school are really important and kids need to learn these to which I say you're absolutely right So how do we help teach them because if we can't reach them? It's going to be really tough to teach them. Yeah, if they're not connected to you They're going to be less invested in learning from you And I always tell coaches it's a lot easier as one person to shift or change than it is to try to change an entire generation So what's the work you want to do? Do you want to continue to fight the battle of Trying to pound into them the things that you know, they need to learn for their own benefit Which I would also say are really important things Or do you want to credit create greater ease even if we look at tough love? Tough love used to be understood from I'll say players of our generation It's like I know coaches tough on me because they care about me That same knowledge is not translated today So you can be a tough love coach You just have to bring the love before you bring the tough Like kids these days need to know that you care about them and have their best interests at heart before They are open or receptive to you pushing them in the ways we know they need to grow and develop So it's not that old school values are irrelevant anymore I would argue they're more needed than ever Our ability to connect with athletes today is paramount to our ability to transform them We are absolutely in an age of transformational coaching. We have left transactional coaching. Thank goodness by and large But we need to adapt our relational abilities. You know, you mentioned the transfer portal you mentioned nil like kids are chasing the bag They're going all over they're staying for short amounts of time All the more reason to create a foundation of relationship To the point that they want to stay because they know my gosh, this is someone who can not only help me grow as an athlete But i'm learning from them things that I need to be successful later in life Can we create that in this world of constant shift and change because if we can do that Gosh, we stand a much better chance at teaching them those skills that we know They need to toughen up around In order to be more resilient in life
Speaker 2: And what are the ways like You know, I feel like What we do is so similar in the sense that it can be A little nebulous, right? It can be like, okay.
I understand everything you're saying I can imagine someone listening to this and they're emptying the dishwasher and they're like I'm on board just like I am with everything you're saying. I hear everything you're saying What can I do on Tuesday at practice or what can I do this week with my team? Like what are some very Actionable coaches always on action. Oh, yeah, very actionable things That they can do that really really work
Speaker 1: Yeah, so i'll say if I had to pick one thing It's the co-creation piece Like because of technology gen z has been able to customize so many elements of their life from a very early age That same expectation although often unspoken comes into their sport experience The more we can co-create the sport experience with them And this is a value I'd to coach is because when you co-create you're now increasing Engagement you're increasing autonomy you're increasing ownership Which absolutely translates to increases in accountability You may need to teach them the skills to model that accountability You may need to teach them the skills for what accountability conversations look and sound and feel like But if you've co-created something with them if they own a piece of it now or they've contributed to building it Gosh, they're much more engaged and invested So where I hear friction with co-creation is like but that's the I'm in charge like it's my program I decide what goes here. Yes, you do and I'm not asking you to sacrifice any of that I'm asking for you to look at opportunities to involve your student athletes in the process of your sport experience very low hanging fruit Common examples every coach I've ever met wants their team appropriately warmed up to train or compete So if you've got a menu of a few different warm-up exercises that you would do on any given day Maybe you pick one and then your team picks one or you go by class Monday freshman Tuesday sophomores Wednesday juniors If you let's say are traveling on the road instead of you as a staff picking where you're going to eat Pick three places any of which you'd be happy with you eating and then give it over to your team or create like a food cohort You know a group that's responsible for when we travel on the road. They're going to make the decisions about this even choosing, you know, um let's say You could do team rules and I think about in education In classrooms across the country best practice is creating a social contract How are we agreeing to operate in this shared space together? And yet we still see especially with historic programs Coaches saying okay, these are our standards. These are our expectations.
We're putting them on young people without asking What does that look like for you? Or what's your translation of this? We're saying this is foundational This is non-negotiable to me into this program. That's great We also need to involve them in some way so that they have a stake in the game If not, we're simply tell them who they have to be Versus inviting them to show us who they are in the context of what we're looking to create together So that co-creation piece for me, whether it's through conversation or through different activities Having the conversation and then related to conversation The second thing I would say if you're going to change something is start to ask more than you tell And then coaches are like, yeah, but I ask and I get crickets like right because it's unpracticed We talked about the peer relationship that angle before but by and large young people today are less practiced in Communication skills in face-to-face conversations than previous generations because Technology has allowed them to do conversations differently So they've arguably had less reps than previous generations And in less reps, they're not as skilled.
So can we coaches as educators start to give them opportunities to practice? To get the reps needed We're so used to telling in sport and it's always faster and that's part of the challenge Is like we don't have enough time to do everything we want to do So i'm just going to tell you what I saw in this drill versus asking like, okay, what went well? What didn't go well?
What's next? You know, I'm going to tell you what you need to do to develop versus asking What do you think would be beneficial for you to work on to provide value for a team? You can always reshape the conversation But if you are looking to create a shift co-creation And then also being really aware of how much are you talking and telling versus asking And involving that's going to be something to look at as well um
Speaker 2: This so reminds me of like the like parenting of toddlers, you know, it's like, you get broccoli or you get carrots. Which one do you want?
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you want broccoli before your chicken or after your chicken? You're still getting broccoli, but you get to decide. Like that is exactly what it is. And I hear every time I do a workshop or a session on Gen Z without fail, I will have multiple people come up after who are also parents and they'll make that translation. They'll say, this explains so much about my nine year old, my six year old, my 12 year old. You know, like I feel better equipped to go home and talk to my 15 year old teenage son because I now understand more why they are the way they are instead of just being like completely baffled but like, what is wrong with you? And I'm your parent and I'm saying that, right? Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I noticed it a lot with my kids. Like when I'm doing it well, I am asking for the co-creation. Because I think about, but then when I'm not, when I'm trying to do it fast or when I'm, you know, got too many things to do, I'm like, this is what we're doing, you know, because I said so kind of mentality. Oh yeah. Yeah, but I do notice like when I get them like to choose, you know, they all can choose a meal for the week. And it's like those little things that get that buy-in that we're all in this together. Yes. Like that they're not, because I've literally had my kids say like, why do you always get to decide everything? You know, and like we forget.
Speaker 1: Easy answer. I was actually talking about the first lesson. I burst you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. I pay for everything. Right, yeah. You know, and that comes out for sure. I'm not pretending like it doesn't, but I do think that like that more, the buy-in, the community component really has such big benefits. Like I have seen it in my own house.
So I know that it works. And I think that's a really, really good point. You mentioned something there and I'll always remember, I had a client that I worked with, head coach of a program, long tenure in the sport, arguably one of the better coaches in our country at the sport. Very first meeting we had, in the background of their office, there was a painted sign and it said, because I said so. And first interaction and I said, hey, tell me, I see that in the background. Tell me what that's about. And they said, oh, well, my assistant had that made because that's something they hear me say often.
And I said, okay, let's start there. That's one of the worst answers you can possibly provide for kids these days because it doesn't give them the why. Again, think about technology.
From an early age, they have been able to ask any question that is on their mind at any time with a few keystrokes and instantaneously get information. Because I said so does not give them the context, the information, the data relevant to their understanding. The next session we had, that picture had been replaced by something else. And that was the first thing the client said. They're like, hey, do you notice anything different about the office? And I said, what happened to the sign? And they said, well, I thought about what you said and you're right. Like, that's not a good answer.
That's an easy answer for me. And I want to be better about giving them information. And this person did incredibly well, but it's like those are the kinds of shifts that we're talking about because I said so. Same as a parent, it's like, because this is what needs to happen because I said so. And it's not enough anymore to be as effective as it could be. And I tried to tell coaches and I said, look, I'm not asking you to lower the standards or lower the bar or be soft on kids. Because truthfully, I think that would be doing them a disservice because life is gonna come at them hard if it hasn't already.
It's coming. What I'm inviting you into is can we meet them where they are so that we can start to teach them the hard lessons we know they've been to one. Like you would never take someone who's never played a sport before and never practiced a skill and put them in a highly competitive situation with a lot on the line and say, go be great. And yet without recognizing it, that's often what we're doing with kids these days. And then we're judging them for not having the skills when we haven't explored the fact that they haven't practiced to the same degree as previous generations. So coaches, educators, can we teach them? And can we be really skilled at how we teach?
Can we lean into best practices for working with young people today so that we stand the best chance of having them not just hear us, but be able to understand in a way that's meaningful and valuable and then apply long-term the lessons that we are seeking to educate them about.
Speaker 2: I was loving, I love like, you probably see this in your own business. I definitely see it in mine. Like the meta sort of what we do is what we teach, right? And like what you just did was like you are, you're talking about them meeting their athletes, but you're starting by meeting them where they're at, which is you don't have to give up your standards. You don't have to be soft. Cause those are like their biggest fears and worries, right? Is like, I'm going to be a different coach. I'm going to end up like being this like lazy blob that just lets my program go to SHIT, right?
Speaker 1: And so I love that you're practicing what you preach with them. They don't know it, right? You're doing with them what they're trying to do with their athletes. Yeah. And I, transparently I don't even realize sometimes that I'm doing it. My massage therapist, we moved to Cary, North Carolina and found someone that I now see once a month just with the volume of travel. And she's wonderful. And she said something at the end of one session.
She's like, you know, we, we teach that which we most need to learn. And I was like, what? I was like, wait, is it true that I probably have gotten into this profession, this line of work in part because I felt myself challenged. And I spent some time reflecting on, on what was true about that statement for me. And absolutely. And I would argue it's the best practice.
But I hear coaches all the time say like, I'm going to teach them, I'm going to be hard on them. I'm going to be different. And they're going to thank me years later. Probably won't happen now.
But years from now, they're going to be like, oh, I'm so glad coached it back. Love that intention. Huge risk. Because if you're trying to be hard on them and teach them things, but let's say they transfer, now you don't have that opportunity, right? Or let's say they hate you. So they're not listening or as receptive to what you're trying to teach them.
Then maybe you don't get that opportunity. Or maybe at worst, you suffer in terms of your professionalism or job or job security, because of the way that you're trying to teach that lesson. So it's, I want you to teach the lessons. I want us to look at what's the most effective way to do that. That's the journey that I feel like we're on in specifically college sport today.
Speaker 2: I mean, it sounds like a lot of what you're talking about is, I don't know if you use this term, but essentially psychological safety, right? Absolutely. Like the ability to, like we cannot learn and be receptive to external information if our nervous system is activated. We don't feel safe. We do talk to coaches about that and do they get that concept?
Speaker 1: I talk to coaches about it like this. I say, if you are not yet well versed with what psychological safety is and its application, what it looks like, sounds like, feels like in our sport environment, please let that be the first thing that you research, leaving this presentation. So I say that verbatim, specifically in my most recent Gen Z workshop, because it is paramount to our ability to teach. Like if we peel everything back and we get grounded in our role as coaches to support the growth and development of young people, we've chosen to do that through the specific vehicle of sport. Okay, so we're educators.
What are the conditions that need to be true in order for optimal learning to happen? And then how do we lean into some of the modalities related to technology that we know are most effective with young people? We are raising a generation of highly visual communicators. So how much of our educational material is visual versus written? When it is written, what format does it take? Is it paragraphs or is it bullet points? Like we need to understand the way that kids these days have been conditioned with technology to take in information. They skim read and digest by-times as amounts of information at incredible speeds.
So sometimes it's not the information, it's the format. Like how can we adjust or make small, and it sounds always like concessions. It doesn't have to be concessions. If what you want is for them to learn, then it benefits us to optimize how we do that. That's what I'm really asking people to lean into, is like, let's take a look at what you're doing. And then looks like small shifts that don't at all sacrifice your integrity, that don't lower the standards, but better equip your young people to meet or exceed those standards long-term.
Speaker 2: And what do you see like, I mean, I always talk about from a mental training perspective, like, and we have things that we implement and I want the coaches to do them as well on a daily basis. Because I always feel like, you know, with any of these changes, it's like the reps, right? Like we can go in just like a strength coach.
We can teach you how to like power clean. It's like, if you don't do it after we leave, like who cares, right? Yeah. And so, but I also think that like the coaches practicing what they're preaching is so important. So like, what are the things? Like what are the, I don't know, practices or actionable things that you're having coaches do and are they doing them? Like not just interacting with their players, but like, are they doing things as a staff? Are they doing things individually? Like, do you have any recommendations for coaches to sort of keep up the practice of this? Because I imagine that's an important part of this. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's, I'll say, I've found with coaches that do the work and I fully understand my limitations as an educator, as a speaker, as a facilitator, even as an executive coach. The only thing I can ever offer someone is an invitation.
It is fully up to them, whether they accept or decline and how and when. So anytime I speak with a group, again, whether it's in person or it's virtually or it's a single person in a coaching session, what I try to be really intentional about is how do I give them actionable things that they can start doing today if they choose or when they choose to create more of the outcomes that they're looking for. So for example, the first Gen Z workshop covers eight unique challenges posed by kids these days that offers coaches 56 different options for how to engage within those challenges.
And then at the end, I have a cheat sheet that has all the challenges on it. And then I say, look, this is a lot. Some of this you might already be doing.
Some of this might be new. And here's what I'd recommend. Like pick one challenge of the eight. Pick one practice that you wanna start doing.
Pick one athlete that you know, if I had a different relationship with this person, I think that would really matter, even so much as how I feel about what I do as a coach. Like start small. And then once you've got some reps, and that feels more like an ingrained way of being than it does something new or something that you're trying on or something that you're doing now that are likely to let go of later, then pick another one. And look at what's true year to year. Cause I think our evolution as a coach in our sport follows a certain timeline. And maybe we've thought to, right? And maybe we've regressed. That's where a lot of coaches feel like they are now. I was like, wait, I was doing well, but then things kind of level off. And then I went back, even looking at this word basketball, I think Gino Ariyama has been really transparent about his journey in this way as well.
As far as like, they got to a point where U-Com was winning, winning, winning, and then they stopped winning for a while. And he had to take a hard look and be like, okay, what is it that I'm doing or not doing? Now I will also say, having grown up in an era of kind of basketball greats, like my senior thesis was the psychology of coaching, a case study of Pat Summit and Gino Ariyama. Arguably, and I say this with great respect, Pat would have been fired so fast today for some of the practice that were hallmarked to who she was as a coach and as a person.
I think when we look at Gino, part of why Gino has the job that he still has today is because he is abundantly clear about who he is. So creating that transparency, and this is something I talk about as elements of an optimal sport experience in my most recent Gen Z workshop. We use the acronym of teachers because I think if we are open to learning, Gen Z has so much to teach us about what quality coaching and education looks like. Elements like transparency, talk about emotions, we talk about affirmation, why it's different than praise and why it matters. Talk about choices that co-creation keeps. Helpful in terms of feedback, embrace what's getting in the way of our ability to embrace who Gen Z is and what they're about, respect and support. So looking at all of these things, not as best practices because that's what Gen Z says is important to them, but because leaning into these best practices as a coach is absolutely something that improves the quality of our coaching. So the goal is always, how do we create a win-win? How do we better connect with each other so then we can go out and do the really hard stuff we're asked to do in relation to our profession or our sport? But you're right, Gen Z, the people that don't practice are unlikely to get better. And I'm also very clear with that about audiences. It's like you have all these options.
What you do with them is completely up to you. And if nothing changes, nothing will change. So think about what are your biggest struggles, your biggest pain points right now?
What do you wish was different? Start there. And then start to build the reps, make a commitment as a staff. Okay, who do we want to be? What does that look like?
What does it not look like? If I'm gonna stand here and say, I want my players to be emotionally stable or have the ability to emotionally regulate in moments of adversity during a game, but then I lose it every time there's a bad call. Like, okay, there's some incongruency here. Like we need to be able to first practice what we preach if we hope to model the transparency and the accountability that we're asking for from our athletes. Absolutely.
Speaker 2: Beautiful. I love all this. Me too. Tell us about, yeah, it's really fascinating. And I always feel like I'm on the right track when I teach something and people are like, yeah, either that makes sense or I do that. Or that's what I've done that in my life. And I feel like that when I'm hearing your stuff, I'm like, oh yeah, I do that when I'm at my best. And I also know when I don't do that.
And it's like, it resonates with how my life is. So you're definitely on the right track with all this. Thank you. It's like the real world application, right? Yeah.
We can look at all the research and all the stuff, but like what actually fits with our life experience. So that's really cool. So tell us more about, I know you have a new course. Tell us about that and who it's for and all that.
Speaker 1: Yep. So the newest course is updates from the field, coaching Gen Z and an optimal sport experience. Separate from the original work, which is those eight challenge 56 tools. This is based off of the last five years of conversations I've had with Gen Z athletes. All sports, all divisions specifically at the college level, some at the professional level, to find out what are the emergent themes that come up in those conversations that arguably make for a quality sport experience, both in terms of the athlete experience, but also our ability to exhibit quality coaching.
And it's those themes that I just mentioned. So using the acronym teachers, I go into what's controllable by us as coaches to provide that optimal sport experience. What are best practices that we can lean into? What are some of the tools that we can start to utilize to make those elements more true across our sport environment? And an embodied way of how we show up as coaches when we're working with individual athletes or with our teams at home. So it was, again, a lot of my work, I feel is very responsive to whatever's coming up. So I had the original Gen Z workshop. It's by far the most requested over the last five years specifically.
That was designed because a senior administrator at San Diego State University at one point said, hey, Betsy, do you have anything on coaching kids these days? Because I feel like they're different. And I was like, no, but that'll be really fascinating to research. That was the genesis for my work on Gen Z. What happened at, it was probably July of last year, is the National Field Hockey Coaches Association said, hey, we'd love you to come back and do another keynote. Do you have more you could present to us on Gen Z?
And I was like, ooh, yes. I don't know what that looks like yet, but I will get back to you. And so that was where I was like, you know what would be really interesting is let's look at the data, like in their own words, let's go back through thousands of conversations and see if there's emergent themes. And do those emergent themes create an acronym. And transparently, the first acronym that came up was the word cheats. And I was like, dang it. Like, that's not good. As someone who spent like five years advocating for replacing judgment with understanding, I don't think the message I want to leave audiences with is that Gen Z cheats.
So I went back into the data to see if there were any additional themes. Thankfully, there were, there were two and that changed the acronym to teachers. But as soon as I read teachers, I was like, yes, that is it. Like, we stand to learn so much from kids these days because they are so different. But first we need to set aside ego.
We might need to unlearn something so that we create space to relearn a better way of being more effective or of coaching to the capacity that we want to. Yeah, so cool.
Speaker 2: Love everything you're doing. So where can people learn more about you? Learn about the course, get the course, all that.
Speaker 1: So everything's available. If you go to betsybutteric.com, you can link to all of my social media through there. I'm primarily on Instagram, sometimes on LinkedIn, very rarely now on X, dabbled in TikTok, but also showing up less frequently on that space because all the things and less time.
All the things. But I would say, yeah, if you go to betsybutteric.com, you can look at all the various courses there. The most recent just was released in September, but all are available. And then I think releasing later this week a bundle offer that has both the original Gen Z course and the newest course. Both of them are roughly 90 minutes in length. They're all direct to camera videos with supportive slides that you can click on, but they're not gonna come up in your face. So it's meant to be conversational while being actionable. As soon as you finish taking the course, you can go out and start to do things differently if you choose. Cool.
Speaker 2: Well, we can definitely put all that in the show notes. Awesome. And potentially getting out to our newsletter as well. So anyway, Betsy, I so appreciate your time. I feel like every time I talk to you, I'm like scribbling notes and learning so much. And just like very actionable things, like I said that I can learn and use in my business and in my life and certainly in parenting.
And we have that in common. So I just appreciate you taking the time. You always have such a generous heart with teaching. So I just appreciate your time. And I know a lot of people are gonna get a lot out of this.
Speaker 1: Thank you. It's great to reconnect and to spend time together. And same, I've learned so much over the course of my career either about best practices in terms of business or just having that shared experience.
So what does it mean to try to give people things that we know are gonna be of value for them later in life? So thank you for having me back and great to chat.
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely. We'll talk soon. Thanks Betsy. Okay, bye. Hey guys, here's what I want you to know. If you are a coach or a parent that wants to implement mental training with your team or with your athletes, it can be easy to get overwhelmed. It can be easy to be like, oh, we need to bring in a mental training coach or I need to get certified or we need this whole program. And what I will tell you is yes, that's great. If you have the time, the energy, the money to do that.
And if you don't, that's okay. Start with one thing. Now, what is that one thing you might ask?
I'm gonna tell you exactly what our start. And it is with a pre-practice mental training routine. The good news is we teach you exactly how to do that with our most popular tool of all time called the Braver Method. Now, I hear from coaches all the time that have implemented this, many of them for years. And they have seen such results in their practices, having their athletes more focused, more resilient, more ready to improve with every single practice. Cause you guys know, it's like, okay, you start practice. Maybe you have like a good physical warmup and like maybe the athletes are there mentally, but like maybe they're not. And we expect that at some point they will, but how much time is wasted between practice starting and when it like finally clicks that they're ready to practice.
And sometimes that never happens, right? But I hear that a lot from coaches that like the first little bit of practice mentally is just kind of a waste. It takes a lot of time and energy to get the athletes ready. And what I will say is with the Braver, it is designed to help them focus from the jump. So if you're wondering where to start with mental training, I've been doing this for 18 years and I will tell you unequivocally, start with the Braver. And what it is is a pre-practice routine that includes breath work, visualization, affirmations, a reset word. It includes so many of the tools that we teach in one simple, simple, simple, simple five minute exercise. Now it does take a little time to set up because I'll have you do a workshop with them where they decide their affirmation.
But once you do that, you're gonna watch all the stuff yourself, then you're gonna do the workshop with their team. Then you have this five minute routine. That is, you can use every single day for every practice, for every game, and your athletes know how to use it.
Many of them will use it for like tests and other things in life once they learn how to do it. So it is $39, it's on our website. I'll put the link in the show notes as well. If you go to positiveperformancetraining.com and click on courses, you will see the Braver. It is by far our most popular course of all time and thousands of athletes across the country are using it.
It is simple, simple, simple to implement. So if you're looking for something to do, do not wait till next season. Do not wait until you have all the money and all the time to do the whole meal deal of mental performance training. That would be great and maybe you'll work up to that.
But right now, what can you do today and this week? It's simple, get the Braver. We also have a money back guarantee, so if that's on your mind, just let that be. We got you, it works, you're gonna love it. Go to positiveperformancetraining.com, go to courses, get the Braver, get your hands on it and start implementing it today.
