Jake 00:00
It is really one of the more dangerous ones we can have. Because we've become accustomed to living and dying off other people's opinions instead of our own efforts, how well we're showing up and what matters most to us. And Bronnie Ware said it best in her book, The Five Regrets of the Dying which went viral 20 years ago now, that the number one regret most people had was living a life for others instead of what was true for themselves.
Jake 00:24
And so they allowed the fear of other people's opinions to dictate how they showed up. And that's always stuck with me, because the last thing we want is to get to where there's no time left on the clock, with the burden that we didn't do what we wanted. Because we were worried about a lot of instances of what strangers we would never meet in real life had to say about what we were going to do.
Lindsey 00:58
Welcome to the mindset coach Academy Podcast. I'm Lindsey Wilson. And I am a high-Performance Mindset Coach, a Mom, a former Professional Athlete, and an Entrepreneur. I help coaches and high performers optimize their mindset to improve their coaching, their performance, and those of their athletes and their lives. Here, you'll learn all about mindset, how to live it, how to teach it, and how to sell it.
Lindsey 01:26
Guys, today, we are lucky to have Jake Thompson in the house in the studio, sitting down and talking with us from Compete Every day. Now, Jake is not only an author, a speaker, a coach, and a businessman, but he lives this stuff every day and his whole brand. You can still check it out at competeeveryday.com He’s got t-shirts, and just really cool messages.
Lindsey 01:47
And it's all about pushing yourself every day. And I know he really lives it. And I love sitting down with Jake. He's a friend and we all get on and shoot the shit and talk about business and talk about what's hard and talk about what's good. And he doesn't hold back giving advice and talking about what's worked for him. One of the things that I want you to listen to today is this idea of can't see choices that turned into can't miss results.
Lindsey 02:07
So I won't go into it right now. But you'll definitely want to listen to this interview. I think you’ll get some really good nuggets for your life, which we always try to give actionable things that you can implement today. So I'll leave you to it. Here we go. Jake Thompson from Compete Every day!
Jake 02:27
What's up, Lindsey, good to hang out!
Lindsey 02:28
I always love hanging out with you and I always love your like motivational background. I get motivated from you. I see your little posts on social media for those of you that aren't following your Compete Everyday brand is inspiring. I love how your community is always just about getting after. It's cool.
Jake 02:46
Thanks. It's been a lot of fun. It's been 11 years now. Chasing this crazy dream.
Lindsey 02:53
Yeah, while you're doing it. I know you're inspiring a lot of people on the way. Tell me what's new in your world. What's going on? What are you struggling with? What's under the hood that Jake THOMPSON
Jake 03:01
Yeah, under the hood. So I don't know if you knew this, but like, I am a lifelong ADHD battler. So my focus.
Lindsey 03:08
I'm surrounded by ADHD.
Jake 03:10
Okay, so I completely understand.
Lindsey 03:12
That's why I like you so much.
Jake 03:13
There we go. And so it today goes off the rails, I'm gonna take full credit for that. But yeah, for me, it always … focus has always been a battle, making sure I'm not chasing shiny objects, especially you know, owning a business so easy to chase things off the path from what you need to be chasing.
Jake 03:32
And as my schedule has gotten bananas, as we've talked about, with a ton more travel states opening back up companies finally having in-person events, again, wearing go speak, I'm traveling a lot more. So my free time has been greatly compressed. And so for me, it's a constant battle of what I need to be saying no to more often.
Jake 03:50
And then making sure that every day I'm intentional with just kind of the non-negotiables. Like, if I have 20 minutes to work out. And that's it. I'm not gonna make it to the gym. Can I go in the garage and do some burpees or squats and just get something done? Can I go on a walk around the neighborhood?
Jake 04:09
Can I make sure that I'm reading every day, like the things that I need to be doing every day to fill my bucket up, making sure that I don't allow what limited window I have to keep me from actually doing a little bit of it? And so that's kind of been the struggle as of late because until I get adjusted to the travel schedule, I feel like I'm close. Everything is a learning process of like, oh, that did not work that trip, we've got to have a better plan going in next time. Or oh, this is working for me. How can I maintain this focus and energy level for the next trip what do I need to read?
Lindsey 04:42
I love that concept because so much of what I talk about with my students is like how we are feeling about how we were doing instead of just having that sort of like we call it the frantic employee versus the CEO. And like getting above the fray and saying like, How can I manage my time? We weren't even planning on talking about this, but productivity and time management are a freaking mindset issue.
Lindsey 05:06
Like it is the place that people can go even without ADHD, they can go off the rails at any moment. And it's like, especially when you're a solopreneur. Like, there's no one's telling you what to do. So you're sitting here like, Should I do this thing that feels good? And it's maybe easy? And or should I do this other thing that's maybe a little harder? And how quickly can I get these things done? And how can I manage my hours that day, because anybody can work 80 hours a week?
Jake 05:32
Anybody and I laugh that I've never been more compelled to do laundry to clean my garage, clean the closet, reorganize my office, then when I have a big project to do because the project is vague, it's scary. And I'm like, I can reorganize my offense, I'm a little more productive. If my desk is over here. Like I have those absolute same battles.
Jake 05:54
And I'm seeing a lot of with my clients, especially this time management issues you talked about, because it's purely mental, because what happens is, if we set aside the time to time block, and we're going to do these things, life is imperfect. You can have the absolute perfect plan going into a basketball game, but it's not going to go according to plan, something's gonna go off the rails, and sports successes, how quickly can you respond to the imperfections? The same happens when you're managing your time when you're pulled off track.
Jake 06:21
Can you quickly reset the rebound and get focused back on the plan you had or adjust it? Or do you do what most people do? Like, Well, this time blocking things, but this just doesn't work for me. I'm just gonna go with the flow every day. And then you're wondering, like, why am I so inconsistent with my progress? Why am I really not getting the right priorities done? I'm always so busy.
Jake 06:43
And nobody wants to be busy at the end of the day because being busy is like being a hamster on a wheel. You're running, running, running, you're exhausted, productive. You're running, you're exhausted. But you can look up and say I got that done. I got that done. I got that done and moving in the right direction.
Lindsey 06:58
Well, such an easy excuse, right? I mean, I got three of them. I got three. Always waiting for me. And I have to manage that. And everybody has something right? And it's like, it's so easy to just throw your hands up and say, I'm too busy. And it's like, yeah, maybe you're too busy to do everything, maybe you probably can't do everything. But if you have, I mean, I just noticed myself, I will laugh. Like if we're going to like a family trip. And it's like we have if I start getting things done like if we do a later flight of the day, like no matter whether we leave at like 10 am or 4 pm, it takes the same amount of time to get ready and get out the door. Like it takes whatever that time amount is that I have we take, right? And it's like it's the same with a workday like I can get so much done in a couple of hours. If I want to take that time to plan ahead of time and know what I'm going to be doing.
Jake 07:55
So for me in high school, during football season, when I had practices when I had to watch game film, on the weekends, when I had all this, I was always on top of assignments and like always on it, spring semester, man, let it run all the way to the deadline because I would give myself all that time. And you're right, we do it now, all the time, I find I'm incredibly focused and productive when I travel.
Jake 08:21
Because I've got like a two-hour window in the morning, I gotta get some writing emails, all of this stuff done before I go spend the day with a client. What is a normal day, I might spend six hours seven hours with those same activities because I'm not as constrained in those times. And so that goes back to Parkinson's Law that work expands the amount of time we give in. And so the point of having that time management and blocks and deadlines is so crucial to just be more efficient and effective with our time.
Lindsey 08:48
Well, and then that cortisol to your prefrontal cortex, especially yours. You know, they really helped, Yeah, it really helps. That's why always say use a shot clock. Okay, speaking of that, I think this kind of segues nicely into what we were gonna talk about, which is fear, right? I mean, so much of that self-sabotage comes down to fear. So I know you're doing a lot of work with your clients and with yourself. Tell me about fear. What do we need to know?
Jake 09:09
Yeah, so fear. I love the idea that people love to promote this idea of being fearless. However, I actually believe that that's kind of a unicorn worth chasing. The goal is not to be fearless, but to learn to fear less is to change the relationship with fear. If you've ever seen Free Solo, the documentary about Alex Honnold climbing the sheer face, it's nuts. But what scientists looked at was like, well, his brain just doesn't process fear the same way.
Jake 09:39
It's a different chemical reaction. That's the reason he's able to do this. And when they started putting him through studies they realize, oh, no, his brain works just like the rest of ours. He simply did the work put himself in position after position, position, and got all those reps to make it less scary than the average person as well as when he feels that fear and starts to notice it his self-awareness goes up and he starts to focus on and how he tries to control his breathing changes.
Jake 10:07
Whereas most of us, never put ourselves in those positions until we panic. And most of us never even think about fear. Unless you're going into a haunted house, you're gonna get on a roller coaster. You know, if you're a parent, you haven't heard from your kid that day, like, that's really the only times day to day we think about it. But here's always there, we're afraid of when we post on this little device are people going to like what I post? Is it good? Is somebody gonna make fun of me?
Jake 10:31
We're afraid that if we try something new, we're gonna fail. And what happens if we fail? I know for me, like, when I worried when I was younger, it's not just failing. But what does that say about me because my identity was so tied up in what I did versus who I was, and how I was living out that and so, fear is a big one for me of, of just helping people understand that, if you feel fear that makes you normal. And it's not that the greats are fearless. It's actually they just learned to change their relationship with fear and how they process it. And more than anything, how they learn to be courageous, which is the idea of taking action while you're afraid. Courage isn't being fearless, it's learning to move while you're scared.
Lindsey 11:13
Well, I think also, one of the things that you just touched on, I want to go a little bit deeper is, those of us that are in this world of mindset and performance, and so many people listen to this podcast, are as well, that idea that like, our especially our primitive brain is really always trying to keep us safe and help us survive, right.
Lindsey 11:34
And so like, the idea that the social constructs around us, activate our fear on, that they say, like, the pain of rejection activates the same piece of the brain is like physical pain, right? And so like, talk to me about that, and maybe I don't know, something we should do to get around it. As far as putting yourself out there, you're putting yourself out there, you're putting out videos, you're doing all that stuff, and like, you're launching things and like, that's really scary. And so like, I think a lot of times people just aren't aware that they are acting in a way to avoid that. So how have you brought that into your life?
Jake 12:08
Yeah, for me, it's been a heavy push on shifting the focus off of myself on what I'm trying to do. Because when I'm posting and promoting stuff, it's how can I help someone else? Versus what are they going to think of me? And that's been a long struggle. I mean, I was an only child growing up, and I love to get attention. I craved, like a lot of kids, I craved being accepted in school, and I didn't want to do anything to stand out.
Jake 12:34
But the older I got, I realized, like, I was letting the fear of other people's opinions, really leave me with more regret, because I wasn't going after the things I wanted and doing the things I wanted to do. And so it really started to change when I started speaking, actually, years ago, and one of my coaches told me, he said, When you get on stage, you're in service of the audience. It's not about you. And what stuck with me about that is a lot of us public speaking is what the number one fear is, it's more people.
Jake 13:05
The Jerry Seinfeld joke is more people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. And like that, I always laugh about that, because we get up there and we're like, what if I say something stupid? Like, what if I mess up? What if my fly's down like we got there? All we're looking at is his internal. But if you go out there and say, Man, how can I help these people? What can I do, you take your focus off your anxiety starts to calm a little bit, and you're able to reframe a fear or nervousness toward excitement for the opportunity.
Jake 13:35
And it really transforms the way you can show up in those moments. And so that focus piece is a big one that when I pull out the phone to do a video, the first couple of videos, I mean, I look back and laugh at they're horrendous. But the point is when you hit record, and you post something, or you share something, it's about who am I trying to help. And how am I trying to help them, not I hope somebody else likes that because, at that point, we're going after the drug of acceptance, and getting that social want is really one of the more dangerous ones we can have.
Jake 14:09
Because we become accustomed to living and dying off other people's opinions instead of our own efforts, how well we're showing up and what matters most to us. And Bronnie Ware said it best in her book, The Five Regrets of the Dying which went viral 20 years ago now that the number one regret most people had was living a life for others instead of what was true for themselves. And so they allowed the fear of other people's opinions to dictate how they showed up.
Jake 14:35
And that's always stuck with me because the last thing we want is to get to where there's no time left on the clock with the burden that we didn't do what we wanted because we were worried about for a lot of instances what strangers we would never meet in real life had to say about what we were going to do.
Lindsey 14:51
It's interesting you bring that up because as always in my life when I am studying something or writing about it, it starts showing up everywhere like, this is the conversation, I just literally just wrote about this, we literally just talked about this and the transformation project, which is my new small group training program.
Lindsey 15:07
And when you said strangers that made me remember that, to me, and I'm interested in your thoughts on this, I think a lot of us understand the idea of public speaking and, putting out a video on social media and hearing crickets and like the absolute visceral reaction our brain has. But I think what is also important and not talked about enough, is the people closest to us, and the roles that we played, and the idea that we are on this path that we've gotten really comfortable with, and that disrupting it.
Lindsey 15:42
And I always give the example I'm sure I know, a lot of your people in your group in your community are into fitness and weight loss and being healthy, like the idea that like, you're around a lot of people that aren't healthy, and all of a sudden, you're the one that's trying to be healthy. And like our brains. There's a part of our brain that doesn't want that there's part of our brain that doesn't want to stick out. Especially maybe, strangers, maybe you can get over it, but the people that are closest to us.
Lindsey 16:06
So how do you get over that? And are you aware of it in your life? Do you see it in your community? Like, talk to me about that? I think that's kind of almost like a different thing because it's so much easier to get around me love me. And so they're happy for me if I'm losing weight or getting in better shape and looking better than them? Because ultimately, that resistance, right,
Jake 16:23
always. And I realized that early on starting my business because I had friends, parents of friends who'd be like, are you doing that shirt thing? Like, yeah, go get a real job. Like, they just didn't understand it. And so what I had to do was create distance from those types of people. One of the things I talked about in my book is kind of the starting lineup, the five people that are closest to you in your life.
Jake 16:45
And it plays off of the Jim Rohn phrase that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And so if you are that one striving individual, and the four or five other people you hang out with aren't. Try as you made a pull them up and inspire them to change average says they're going to pull you down.
Jake 17:02
And I think a lot of us as adults are not intentional with the people we invest time with, I think we just hang out with who's convenient because their neighbors or we see him at work, or our kids may play together, instead of going out of our way and saying how can I develop relationships with the type of people who are aligned with me from a life standpoint, they want to grow, they want to get better, they’ll challenge me as much as they'll encourage me versus just telling me what I like to hear or talking me out of going after stuff that maybe makes them uncomfortable.
Jake 17:33
And I think as adults like we have to be very, very intentional with that. It's not to say we can't hang out with other people. And you may have friends now that you hang out with and you're the healthy person and they're not. But maybe instead of hanging out with them every week or multiple days a week, you hang out with them every two weeks, and then every three to four weeks, and you create space in that relationship so that you're more intentional with who you're around.
Jake 17:57
Because you're around people, you're consuming things mentally from the conversations you have from the types of conversations you have, are they talking about goals and how they're working through problems and challenges? Are they gossiping about other people and complaining about everything that they could have the ability to change? And so that's a big key piece of it. And so I'm constantly evaluating relationships, in terms of who am I going to for counsel? Who am I spending a lot of time with?
Jake 18:24
Are they the type of people that they're challenging and pulling the best out of me, they're wanting me to grow as well as picking me up when I fall? Or are they the people that continue to just kind of make me feel good, or chasing things that just really aren't important? In the same sense as me. And so that really helps reframe what we're consuming and what we're hearing.
Jake 18:47
Because the right people are going to ask you the tough questions that are really going to make you evaluate, am I going to go after this? Do I feel comfortable doing this? Will I do this? Why am I worried about it, but then they're also going to be the same people that are going to tell you they believe in you and to give it a shot.
Lindsey 19:02
I'm aware of it right now. Especially coming off. We're not off the pandemic, but a lot of time at home last couple of years. And my company is making a big income leap. And I'm noticing I'm trying to be aware of what the internal primitive brain of myself is feeling as far as like, how are other people going to feel about how and how is that going to make me feel about their feelings about me going to another level?
Lindsey 19:33
And you know, that's why we have our mastermind for our Mindset Coaches. That's why we're doing a retreat in the fall because I think it's like being around people. To not always be the smartest person in the room. Right? I mean, that is such a big part and something that I feel like I am trying to seek out in my life. It's hard. You know, I have a lot of successful people around me, but they're not entrepreneurs necessarily, which is a different thing.
Lindsey 19:57
So I'm gonna get a little bit off-topic, but I guess what I'm saying is I'm noticing it in myself and trying to be aware of it. Because it's also it's not even other people. It's like, your perception of being on another level than other people. And when what you think about what they're thinking, there's just as part of us that just doesn't want to be different.
Jake 20:19
Yeah. And it's always about that blending in. There's a video on social media from a few years ago that goes viral every so often of this guy just like dancing his heart out at a park or some concert, nobody's dancing. And then finally, one person does it with him, and then another, and then all of a sudden everybody else does it. Nobody wants to be the first.
Jake 20:40
But once they see it socially acceptable, they go do it. So yeah, it's a wild, that psychology side of us, because we're afraid of the primitive days of being ostracized from the tribe, and then you're done. Because you needed the community and people. And where we have to go today is continued focus on what's in our control, being intentional with who we hang out with, which is why I think your retreat masterminds are so important, because entrepreneurship is lonely.
Jake 21:09
And if you're starting your practice, and you're doing stuff, you're on a roller coaster emotionally, and mentally, that people that have never been in that position cannot understand. And from the outside, they're going to tell you different things that probably aren't the best advice, because they've never walked into that situation.
Jake 21:27
So being in those rooms, and being in those situations are so incredibly important. I mean, that was the one thing I probably miss most during the last few years was, I would always spend one to two weekends a year going to events, to just make sure I was in a room with really smart people and people I can learn with and network with. And 2020 didn't have it, I got to go to one at the end of 2021. That was a lot of people in kind of our same industry.
Jake 21:56
Actually, Amy and your community were there, we got to meet and hang out. And it was just one of those rooms where it's like, get in a room with a bunch of people who want to get better, who don't care. Who's the biggest person in the room? Or who's the smallest, they're just all there to say, how can we learn from each other? How can we get better? And how can we just deal with the similar challenges?
Jake 22:16
And so that's crucial because it all goes back to the relationship piece with who you're spending time with, obviously, what you're consuming based on that. And that's going to help you either make more courageous decisions or continue to make more out of fear. And we all know from a mental perspective, operating out of fear versus operating out of gratitude or abundance, how that shows up in the physical sense, every decision in life.
Lindsey 22:43
What I think, from a leadership standpoint, or a coaching standpoint, or even a parenting standpoint, I think, obviously understand that on a personal level, and how we are all doing it. I can say all day long, that I don't give a shit what people think. And I can try that. And I can practice that. And I do. And there are times when I can live that. But it's not all the time. No, right.
Lindsey 23:07
And so I think a lot what I see with coaches too, is like, sometimes, and I'm sure you're seeing this with your leaders in the corporate world stuff. Like if someone wants to be the best and is working towards being let's say the best or being successful, there is likely a part of them that also doesn't want that. And not acknowledging the price, that the social price of being better than the people around you, I think is, it gives that power, it gives it power, when you're not even aware that there's a part of you that's gonna be pulling you back to the tribe, so to speak in the grid.
Jake 23:51
There's an exercise Tim Ferriss does he does it monthly, I would recommend it quarterly or annually. It's called fear setting. And it's essentially writing down what your fears are, and then how are you going to respond to them. If this happens, what will I do? And then what will I do next? So you think from a very basic level, what if I get divorced tomorrow? What if my spouse serves me papers? Emotionally? What am I going to go through?
Jake 24:16
But then how will I handle this? What am I going to do? So my life is over? I still have the rest of my life. How am I going to respond? And he said, what that process does for him. And what I found helpful just myself going through it is it helps you almost just the same as visualization of an imperfect play and how you're going to respond to it is that helps one reduce that fear a little bit.
Jake 24:38
And at the same sense allow you to say if this happens, emotionally, I'm going to go through all this I'm going to deal with all these feelings, but here's how I'm going to respond. And here's somewhat of a plan I have versus feeling like I don't know what to do and I got the wind knocked out of me and I don't know where to go. And so he does it all the time to consistently reduce those fears so that he allows me to make sure that they don't overwhelm him or prevent him from making the best decisions he needs to going forward.
Lindsey 25:06
Yeah, it sounds like that kind of like a little audit and release kind of thing.
Jake 25:11
Yeah, that's great.
Lindsey 25:12
So speaking of action, you know, we always like to talk about what actionable things people can do. And I know earlier, we're talking about like these choices that people make. So if we're moving from, okay, I got fear in my life. I love that Tim Ferriss exercise, I got fear, I'm trying to manage my brain as far as like, sticking out and being successful and all these things that come up. What kind of things do you talk about in your workshops, and your coaching that helps people on a day-to-day basis actually do this?
Jake 25:43
Yeah, one of the things I love to really start with a lot of folks with is really kind of understanding where you're operating out of like, what are your kind of four to five core values that you want to live by that you want to be known by? Like, what best describes you? So for me, I look at it from a standpoint of competition is part of who I am every single day, how am I competing to be better than I was, boldness is one of the ones I look forward to because I don't want to do anything small. I look at it from a servant leadership standpoint, I have kind of my core values.
Jake 26:18
And once I actually took the time to identify all of them and say, Okay, what is really important to me, it gave me a new lens, from which I evaluate every action and choice. And especially the big ones, the ones where we get that knot in our stomach, when we're a little uncomfortable, maybe sweaty palms, those bigger life decisions, or opportunities to walk across the bar and ask someone out are terrified that we're going to get rejected.
Jake 26:45
Once I kind of know what my values are, I can ask and say which choice or action aligns best with who I want to be, and the values I want to live up to. And if I'm somebody who embraces competition and boldness, well, competition, you don't win every time. That's the beauty of it, you win. Or you're going to learn where the gap is between where you are and what it's going to take to win. And you can learn those lessons and apply those lessons and get better.
Jake 27:10
So if I look at it, that sense of saying walking across the bar and ask someone out, I can be living out of fear and say, No, I'm not going to do that I'm going to say something stupid, or they're going to reject me or say no, what's the worst that's going to happen, all their friends are going to laugh at me. Or I can say, I actually want to be a person that operates out of boldness and competition.
Jake 27:27
So I'm either going to get the phone number, or I'm going to maybe learn how to do it differently next time. And if I want to live with boldness, I gotta go do that I can't play small. And it really on a day-to-day basis, whether you're in a sales presentation, whether you're having a conversation with your kid, leaving a softball game, everything starts to flow through those values. And once you start to live out that it helps you better evaluate fear from kind of a step back. I'm feeling the feeling of fear. I know I'm afraid right now.
Jake 27:58
But what's the best choice to make at this moment for who I want to be? And at the same time be more consistent with how you see the world and how you show up.
Lindsey 28:06
I love that. Because again, we go back to like those the life regrets or whatever the book is, we all know, imagine a lot of that is through those, like, if we're just trying to be successful or just trying to do well in the world. It's like, it's so ambiguous. It's like, how you know, and so like to have these we call life pillars in our training, but it's the same thing. It's like, what are you measuring things against? I love what you said, just like, Who do you want to be and always measuring against that versus like some, I don't know, magical number or magical place that you're supposed to be arriving at.
Jake 28:41
I mean, because you have people in this world that make $65,000 a year, they consider themselves a huge success. Because they get to go home to their kids, they get the freedom to travel, and they get to do exactly what they want in life because they determined who they want to be, and what success looks like for them. And it wasn't a specific number. And on the other hand, you have people that make six to $10 million a year that absolutely are miserable.
Jake 29:05
They don't consider themselves a success, because they defined success by maybe $1 amount or a specific number. And then they got there and they realize, well, this is it, like where's the rest of it, they don't have that alignment with their pillars, they don't have anything other than this single outcome. And so that's a huge, huge component of it, of knowing those pillars, like you talk about living in alignment with them, because then as you know, it becomes about the process and the growth and who we become on the journey while hopefully influencing and creating outcomes that we desire.
Lindsey 29:38
So that's sort of like the top level right? So when we talked about like, we call it pillars you call them values.
Jake 29:45
Yeah, your values your five values.
Lindsey 29:47
Yeah. And you talk about that in your book. Speaking of the compete every day?
Jake 29:50
Actually, I don't talk about it.
Lindsey 29:52
The next book, There you go. Okay. Great book, by the way, you sent it to me a while ago, so definitely highly recommend it. I will put them in Show Notes. Let's talk about choices. The day that Can't see the choices that we talked about earlier, how does that play into this?
Jake 30:06
Yeah. So what I love to say is the Can't See Choices we make every day create our Can't Miss Results. In a very physical sense. The easiest way I love to explain this is that at 5 am Every morning or 6 am every morning, your alarm goes off, you have two choices, hit the snooze button and sleep for another 30 minutes to an hour, or get up and go outside and go for a run, go workout.
Jake 30:26
At that moment, we have no idea what choice you made, unless we see you out on a run, we see you taking a selfie on Instagram like that's the only time we know that you can lie every day and say, Oh, I get up and run and every morning, you're actually hitting snooze. However, over the course of six to 12 months, we will 100% be able to see the results, we can't miss them. Because either your waistline has gotten bigger, you don't look healthy, you're not able to run you're winded or you look like you're running marathons and you're in great shape, you've lost weight.
Jake 30:58
Like at the moment, we don't know whether it's a Can't See Choice over time to Can't Miss a Result. And so when we as a society get so obsessed with the outcome and the big picture, and we come out of the gates on January 1 trying to change everything for New Year's resolutions, we fail to see that success is teeny tiny Can't See Choices every single day.
Jake 31:17
And so when it comes to time management, as we talked about at the beginning, if you get off track, it's a Can't See Choice to say I'm gonna reset, and I'm gonna How am I gonna get back on track with how I manage my time if you are getting upset at your kid, because they're screaming nonstop at you, and you get really loud and you're like, later you're like, Man, I wish I hadn't responded that you have the Can't See Choice to say I'm gonna file it away.
Jake 31:42
And hopefully, I don't do it next time. Or how can I be more intentional with how I talk to my child about what just happened and how I respond in the future of holding my patients, those little things kind of stacked up. And so when it comes to fear, it's asking ourselves questions, what's the most important thing now what's the next choice I need to make? We have a journal called Win Your Next that's all about the idea of just winning your next choice.
Jake 32:07
If you failed this last one, if you ate pizza at lunch, and you meant to have salad, make sure you have salad or grilled chicken or fish at dinner. Instead of writing off the rest of the day, the week, the month, and the year because you had pizza for lunch with fear. If you know like me 19 years old, I had a chance to chase after a sports stream after recovering from an injury and fear got in my ear. And it got into my gut. And I believe this idea that I had to listen to my gut. And what if I failed at the one thing I thought I was really good at? How would that make me a failure? And I went through all of these things.
Jake 32:40
And it taught me out of chasing. And I spent over a decade just like carrying the burden of regret for that moment, when what I should have done is started to acknowledge Why am I feeling this fear? What's going on right now? What's the worst that could happen? What's the best that could happen? And what's the next step I should probably take?
Jake 32:58
And so it's a matter of simply learning to interview ourselves. And going through the process of understanding what we're afraid of, and maybe why we're afraid of it. And the more we talk about it or write it down, I always love to talk about the importance of just putting pen to paper. Because when you see it on paper, it changes your relationship a lot of times with what you're afraid of and working through it. And for some of us the things that terrify us, those people that champion us that are right alongside us in life would look at that and be like, You're crazy.
Jake 33:26
You can easily do that and overcome that, what are you worried about? I have full faith in you. But because we keep it all inside, or because we haven't been intentional with who we hang out with. We keep it bottled up and it grows bigger and bigger and bigger. And it kind of becomes an overwhelming thing. versus going small and saying, Okay, if this is the choice, what would be the best choice for tomorrow's version of me if I can make the right one today?
Lindsey 33:53
I mean, I think what I love about that is like the Micro right? I mean, I think so often people get paralyzed, I mean all of us do, right? And I like the idea that you can look at your life. Again, sort of like with that bird's eye view instead of like getting so caught up in the emotions of regret or what you should have done or fear and like being able to step back. It's such a brave thing to do. And I think it can be so hard. Unless of course, it isn't.
Lindsey 34:25
So my coach always used to say, unless you do make it hard, but being able to take the time to do that. And then with the action. I love the idea of like small incremental things because I think like trying to do so much and be perfect and like having these big huge goals. It's like a piece of American thing really. And I love that. You know, I'm like that is my nature, but like the ability to also do something today, because otherwise, we get into self-sabotage things get way too much they get way to be overwhelming. And then we get paralyzed.
Jake 35:02
We do, mean you think about starting a business for a lot of people. They're like, Oh, I don't know what to do. What's one thing you could do today? I could Google trademarks to make sure my brand name isn't trademarked awesome. Tomorrow? Well, I could Google and figure out how to file paperwork, the city, suite two days from now I'll print the paperwork and file it with the city like it's, we eat an elephant, the same way we eat a doughnut is one bite at a time, we just get overwhelmed staring at the elephant wondering where to start what to do versus saying, Okay, what's one bite?
Jake 35:33
What's one thing I can do and go from there? Because we're never I mean, you knew this when you started your business, you didn't know every single step all the way from then till today. But you took one, and you saw off to you and you figured out okay, how do I get to that one? And what steps can I take, in any habit, anything we build, when we go big, we tend to sabotage ourselves, or we mess up once and we can never get back on track.
Jake 35:55
Versus I need to start working out, I'm just going to for 15 minutes a day, I'm gonna go for a walk around the neighborhood. And maybe I'll turn that into a job. And then from there, I'll grow but I'm going to do it over the course of six to 12 months, versus trying to do it all in six days.
Jake 36:10
Well, I mean, and you know, not to be too self-serving for both of us. But that's where coaching comes in. Right? Like the ability to have somebody say, Okay, there are 1 million steps that you need to take to get from here to there. So we're gonna start with this one. And, you know, I think that's, but that's also a way to self-sabotage is like, I'm going to make it super hard for me, by doing it myself, whatever it is losing weight, starting a business, whatever, I'm going to make it so hard for myself that I can't possibly do it. And then I'll blame myself. I'll just tell. And then I'll tell myself that it was impossible, when in fact, all you need to do is find somebody else that has done it.
Jake 36:47
Yep. I laugh at one of my coaching clients, we were actually had a call this morning. And he was super frustrated. Because a lot of his team, he's very much Alpha program, like, coach, everybody says, do it, I'm going to do it to the best of my ability, I'm going to do it immediately. A lot of his team doesn't share that. And I had to explain, I was like, Listen, you have a very different upbringing and background than the rest of your team.
Jake 37:11
You expected them to behave just like you is not who they are. nor has it been effectively communicated that way. So let's step back and look at how we're slowly communicating these things, and empowering those people. And let's look at it a little bit at a time so that a month or two months from now, they're stepping up more the way you want them to, versus you expecting them to be all in right out of the gate when that's just not who they are.
Jake 37:39
So let's go small. And just like you said that same way. That's why a coach is coming in so helpful. That's why it's so awesome that the work you do from a certification program of helping people get to that point where they can help others you're creating that nice chain reaction and changing how people see themselves and how they show up.
Lindsey 37:56
Well, I think that, for so many of us, especially, our communities are a lot of athletes and high performers and like us, and we tend to make things hard. It's like that's our it's like, if things aren't hard, we must be doing it. We can go on a whole nother path.
Jake 38:12
Oh, yes.
Lindsey 38:15
Alright, let's go on. Well, my rapid-fire questions for you before we wrap this up. Okay. What info are you consuming right now?
Jake 38:22
Ooh, I just finished a Coaching Sales Manager book because I wanted some insight on that. But my next one is Work The System, seen it referred by a handful of them, but it's a simple mechanics of making more and working less. Sounds like yeah,
Lindsey 38:40
There we go. Yeah.
Jake 38:44
My books rotate between leadership, mental performance, obviously, sports psychology, sales, and then some Marketing and Entrepreneurship as well.
Lindsey 38:53
And a little romance novel thrown us...
Jake 38:57
I've got no romance. I do have some science fiction or some Stephen King makes them but that's about it.
Lindsey 39:02
Very good, it's good to get your brain working on something else. What are you creating?
Jake 39:07
Ooh, creating. Right now, I actually just finished recreating my contextual models for teaching and training. So I'm super excited about that competitive advantage model, and how we're using it either on the individual side or within an entire company.
Lindsey 39:22
Okay. And so if people are interested in you as a speaker, that wouldn't be what you would come in and teach, right?
Jake 39:26
Yeah. So I do as a keynote, we kind of hit the high level based on really what the client needs from an outcome takeaway standpoint because we talk about the inner person from a mindset focus and habit standpoint, we talk about the alongside leadership and development within an organization and then we talked about from the exterior, the client or the customer client side, the branding and what messages you're giving to the marketplace and then how you're impacting your community.
Jake 39:52
So we look at it from all three of those areas to build it. But keynotes we do high level and then my clients that I work with on an ongoing bases, we actually deep dive on a monthly basis or quarterly basis on how we actually implement it throughout the organization.
Lindsey 40:06
Cool, cool. What's one healthy habit that you do daily?
Jake 40:13
Workout every day, and people think that's crazy. But my rest days are usually 15,20 minute walks around the neighborhood. So I'm still moving. But I find that the more I can do that the clear my head is or if I have just a crappy day, going in the garage, turning on some music, and just doing a nasty workout is the best way to just let it go and clear the mind for a while so I can refocus on what I need to tackle.
Lindsey 40:38
Well, I think a lot of people listening to this understand that. What's your next big leap?
Jake 40:46
We talked about off air, I'm getting a couple of things in place on in our company side, but then it's finishing book two.
Lindsey 40:53
And you know what it's gonna be that?
Jake 40:55
I do. Similar to what we talked about today. It's called When Your Next it's all about the idea of sports. You can't make this play if you're worried about the mess up or the victory you just had. And so how do we remain mindful in the day-to-day and not get derailed when we have a slip-up or setback or make a bad choice?
Lindsey 41:12
What is bringing you joy or wonder right now?
Jake 41:16
Joy every day is probably the three things right underneath my desk in my crazy dogs. They still have been quiet. They're sound asleep. Actually one of them was snoring if the mic picks it up. Yeah, I've got a 12-year-old boxer named sugar a six-year-old Frenchie named biscuit, and a five-year-old Frenchie we adopted around Christmas named Doughnut and they are named the funniest payer.
Jake 41:42
And it's that's the one thing when I'm coming home like I'm so excited to go see them because my in-laws have right by DFW airport. So I dropped them off on the way and then I picked them up as soon as I get back. And it's just when a dog has a parent come home, and they're so excited. Like nothing beats that. Because I think like at some point, because I don't have kids yet, but kids yelling at go away. They're not always excited to see you. But dogs are always excited when you walk in the door.
Lindsey 42:06
That's really cute. And how can everybody find you?
Jake 42:09
Yeah, the easiest way to find me is to competeeveryday.com. It's Compete Every day on every social media. And then for me personally, I just love to hang out on LinkedIn and Instagram. And you can find me at Jake Thompson speaks.
Lindsey 42:22
Jake, thank you so much for taking the time. I always enjoy our time on so many different levels, entrepreneur-wise, and just seeing what you're doing in your world. And I appreciate you taking the time to share with our community all your insights and wonderful steps that you're sharing with all of us. So thank you.
Jake 42:36
You bet, always energized by our conversations and just honored to hang out at the show this week.
Lindsey 42:41
Thanks, Jake. We'll talk soon.
Lindsey 42:44
Well, I hope you love this interview as much as I did. I just always love sitting down with Jake. Again, you can check him out at competeeveryday.com. They got the super cool gear. I know he has a podcast as well. And He's great on Instagram. I think it's all of his content is about athletes. It's about pushing yourself. It's about doing it every day. I think he's got some great messages that can keep all of us sort of on track with this stuff.
Lindsey 43:07
But again, I just love how actionable His thoughts are right things that we can actually implement in our day-to-day life, which of course, we're all about here past performance. So hope you loved it. If you did, please share it with someone that you think might benefit from it. And of course rate review our podcast, we sure do appreciate it. And thanks so much for joining us. Bye for now.
Lindsey 43:29
Hey, if you love this episode, make sure to check out all of our free and paid resources over at positiveperformancetraining.com You want to take mindset training to the next level we got you.
Lindsey 43:39
But here are three more specific waysIf you want to take mindset training and live it more in your life. Definitely subscribe to this podcast. We send out bonus episodes, we have our mental Mondays, we have interviews and training episodes, definitely subscribe. If you want to teach it, meaning taking it to your athletes or your clients. I highly recommend the Psychology of Competition.Again, you can check that out at positiveperformancetraining.com
Lindsey 44:02
It is a great course that will teach you and your athletes how to have pre, during, and post-competition routines to up your performance. And if you want to learn how to have a mindset coaching business in order to sell mindset coaching, highly recommend signing up for our waitlist for our next certification cohort, which usually opens about once a year, but in the meantime, go to positiveperformancetraining.com. And check out our Ultimate Mindset Coaching Toolkit which will show you exactly how to get started with your first mindset coaching clients. Again, go to positiveperformancetraining.com for all of our free and paid resources.
